Gutfeld! : FOXNEWSW : September 21, 2023 7:00pm-7:59pm PDT : Free Borrow & Streaming : Internet Archive (2024)

>> this is the worst happy gilmore sequel i've ever seen. i sympathy that guy is kind of mentally and i will i'm an expert on mentally ill because i watch cnn all day. jimmy. i mean, the funny thing about it is you know, you work out. that was not a fio seek that you flex if you're -- physique you flex if you're trying to scare someone. >> sean: that's all the time. tune in for making the show possible and dvr and never miss an episode and join the live audience show. it'll be on thursday the day after next week's republican presidential debate. tickets, hannity.com, they're free. in the meantime, let not your heart be trouble. why? stay tuned, the great greg gutfeld

yeah. yes. yes! happy thursday, everybody. you look fantastic. i'm lying. i'm so excited because it's time for -- ♪ if you looking to the mirror and you don't like what you see ♪ ♪ bright and early ♪ you can change your identity ♪ ♪ you know it's time to return ♪ ♪ new clothes new name ♪ ♪ return to tender ♪ ♪ never be the same ♪ ♪ if you got a feeling ♪ ♪ there's something you like ♪

♪ just switch your pronouns and refuse to switch them back ♪ >> yeah. all right. all right. president zelensky was just in new york if the u.n. general assembly to plead for more help for ukraine meaning more money, help and fewer visits from sean penn. he didn't get to meet with president biden. too bad. he was looking forward to almost shaking his hand. zelensky missed a lot more than high fiving the zombie in clhie. he didn't know the spokesperson for his own military was this american person. just an all american girl. one who makes leah thomas look like reese witherspoon. the rabids mouth will foam in uncontrollable frenzy as the world will see a favorite

kremlin kremlin propagandaist. they will be hunting down and justice will be served. >> sorry, lady, justice would be served if someone bought you a better wig. i apologize to every one on the west coast watching this at dinner time especially if you're having sausage. zelensky didn't know who sarah was. good for him. i usually don't find out the damsel is a dude until we're back at hotel. now the ukrainian military has suspended sarah for being a massive psycho on social media. viewers might also remember this one. >> if you look at putin's mouth, you'll notice that blood drips from it. he's a vampire carrying out genocide against both ukrainians and russians alike. vlad putin bathes in the blood of innocent children and enjoys

it. this is why the dictator of the russian federation must be deposed. >> doesn't it seem hypocrite cal for a trans person to be insulting vampires. after all they come from transylvania. this isn't really about sarah being trans at all. it's that she's insane and an american spokesperson for a foreign war. i don't get it. yeah, putin is a bad guy. he makes ivan the terrible seem like ivan the not so bad once you get to know him. if you meet pewutin, don't stan near open windows. vlad has had more enemies whacked than anyone. although there's a close second. apparently, zelensky had no idea who this was and claims he never

approved ashton's hiring. there's a lot of things zelensky doesn't know. it's as if that gets him off the hook. by hook, i mean sarah's penis. >> it didn't make any sense. i don't know who they are, but has anyone asked zelensy about if he's comfortable with this person? they should. they should put that to him. >> tom shilue. why is the hr department involved? it's not because poor sarah requested time off for a prostate exam. it's because this nut job with a nut sack is going after u.s. citizens. last week senator vance asked who this person is and why the u.s. citizen is acting as

spokesperson for a foreign government and why he, she and or it keep going online and saying crazy things. who does is a that thing she is, joy behar? vance wants to know what we want to know. who is this clown? why is an american acting as a spokesperson for the ukrainian military and who is paying for all this and why does he keep giving me flash backs of my 8th grade lunch lady. they responded to senator's inquiry with another deeply odd video. >> why in ukraine we're fighting for global liberty and the ideology of victory. too many in moscow and across the world are caught up in tired troep of gender chaos.

>> how can ukraine not win with this person involved? you're the first spokesperson to tuck in their balls before getting dressed. kudoses for stealing jen psaki's hair. how did sarah get this far in our military. some one promoted this. does sarah want to finish by stating anything unequivocally. >> i'll finish by stating unequivocally that i only answer to three groups of people. my cukrainian commanders and th american taxpayers. >> he left out the girls at the macy's make up counter who helped him hide his 5:00 shadow. he says he answers to american taxpayers. i demand an answer.

do you get yeast infections or jock itch? also, what is going on over there? yes they are fighting war. i should know. i'm paying for it. they had no idea this charmer was going online and saying all this bizarre [ bleep ] on their behalf. it's like the equivalent of the head of fox news not knowing that he works here. no one knows what comes out of joe's mouth either. between sam and rachel. we don't have an administration. we have a live rendition of tootsie. maybe sarah is a perfect met metaphor for this war. if you look closer, you won't like what slaps you many the face. let's welcome tonight's guests. he grew up in new york and he has a criminal record to prove

it. comedian chris. only the tasmanian devil can out spin her. communication director that never packed down, erin perini. she's in the early stages of osteoporis, tkat timpf. he never wrestles with the trump. former nwa world champion, tyrus. chris, good to see you here. >> thank you. >> you look great. >> you look great. i thought that whole time when i was seeing the videos of the ukrainian trans spokesperson, i thought it was you. i was like what is gutfeld doing. >> it's impressive. >> i was like that's wild.

>> doesn't it appear to be like a skit? >> it does. it's one of those things where whatever you want to do. i don't care. i'm all supportive. this seems like a little, it seems a little nuts. you know, cheers. big nuts. i don't know. there feel like it's one of those things where it's a distraction. do i don't buy it. >> your point is well taken that being trans is the least problematic thing about this. >> right. >> she's crazy and she's a spokesperson for a foreign government. do you buy the excuse that he had no idea. i guess i could. >> absolutely. i think that's completely legitimate. i don't think this is the best way goat a message across. it doesn't have anything to do with her being trans. it has to do with the incredibly odds rhetoric she continues to use. there's already a lot of issues going on with the ukraine war. that's why you're seeing in the capitol right now, funding

fights about whether or not we will continue to help support the war between the house run by republicans. this is perpetrated by joe biden. we got to remember where this started. we wouldn't be looking at any of this today. >> that was about pipeline? >> yes. nord stream two pipeline is what allowed russia to circumvent ukraine. >> i told you that. >> i thought you were full of crap. >> i told you that at the gym. >> he had an amazing three-point presentation. >> there to do the numbers. how could you miss that. >> he only listens to women. >> you were telling me that during my leg day. >> all right. is this a microcosm of the war. no one knows what is going on and all we get is rhetoric.

what do you think? >> yes. it is entirely possible that zelensky had no idea this was happening. it's also when i say i'm called out about something i didn't want to talk about. i think a lot of us do that. i think it looks very much like not just a sketch but a sketch that we would do for this show. >> right. >> by that i mean takes five minutes. shot on an iphone and the wig is $10. >> you think she's really in ukraine? >> no. >> why didn't i decide to say i'm the spokesperson all the time. you get the green screen and talk like this and you're a spokesperson. >> yeah. i don't get it. i don't get it. what do you think, tyrus? >> what's to get? first of all, kat, thousand percent correct. let's just go back to the backdrop. >> okay. >> have you ever seen a military

press conference without other people in uniforms there? >> no. >> that's a good point. >> have you ever seen one especially that represents america without american flag next to the country that we're speaking of? there's usually two marines guarding to make sure everything is right. was that there? >> no. >> no, it was not. this and the opening line was, i was on the front line as a medic during a war. were people were getting kill and maim and they pulled you off from saving people to do that. right there. i don't need cows but i smell [ bleep ]. when the front -- thank you to my wisconsin people. if you're opening segment is you were doing something so important and so amazing and brave but you decide to pull yourself out so you could talk about vampires. here is the thing. we know one thousand percent who

is paying this person. zelensky had no idea. open up a photo album for the people working for zelensky. you can't attack him for what he's doing because if you attack him, you put other trans people in jeopardy. there's not representing anyone. this is a sick individual who is doing this themselves and no one will say, hey, this is wrong. >> i'd like to point out that much like the canadian teacher, were we onto this story first and we always get results and yet where are our emmys or pulitzers. >> i'm not trans although some people think i am.

>> good for you. there's still time. >> you literally brag about having the biggest one. it like broke the internet an it's a lie. >> i love the comment on the video. someone said i didn't realize kat was trans. >> all right. you go, girl, boy. up next they with perpetuating wars. that's terrible. (ella) fashion moves fast. setting trends is our business. we need to scale with customer demand... ...in real time. (jen) so we partner with verizon to take our operations to the next level. (marquis) with a custom private 5g network. (ella) with verizon business, we get more control of production, efficiencies, and greater agility.

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>> no, i'm not. i haven't said anything like that. >> if you want, i can read what you sent. i have it. >> yeah, i sent a bunch of notes. i want to make sure i know which one. >> okay. >> we're planning to write about the festival and how some of the sponsors and participants have drawn criticism to associate themselves with dave who has a history of comments and other problematic behavior. i want to make sure ta bhat bla had chance to respond. >> that's the one i sent to [ bleep ] which was the most pointed of them because i really did want them to respond. i was hoping to get something from them. >> how mysoiginic. he exposed how reporters work. create the conclusion and work back ward and entering the reporting with your fact. that makes dave a mysoginist.

kat, you were a reporter for bar stool at one point. >> i was a reporter. >> you went do the insane. >> it was me and a camera guy who had like salmon colored shorts on walking around there. i know dave. i interviewed him for the saturday night show on fox news. t it's funny she said i didn't reach out to you because we wanted to figure out what it was going to be about as if there that was good. was any nuance in the e-mail. when the u.n. meet, limos and dave, you're working with him. sex workers clog the she a piece of [ bleep ]. explain yourself. thank you. he, u.s. dip emplomats bang hoo that was the entire e-mail. shamelessly. the annual u.n. general assembly

that sends next tuesday is a the e-mail says it all. >> this wasn't about writing a hooker convention as far away as vegas and europe. story. it was a strategy to scare the advertisers away. isn't vegas in europe? >> yes. that's 100% what it was. the most rediktable response is i love dave. did someone say hooker he literal is completely convention. anonymous source, i wonder if it's deep throat. it's nice to see hotels used for fearless. he's got bigger balls than a spokesperson for ukraine. something sex ier than housing i love dave. migrants. business house up by 20 to 25% i love to work at bar stool but they don't return e-mails. with some ladies making as much >> that's true. as five grand a session. that's almost as much as i >> tape the conversations. >> journalism is dead. it was a cancel piece. charge. diplomats go crazy because they don't have these girls. we're going to cancel. i interviewed him for a show they are from truly repressive before. he's from boston. you're going to get that boston places like syria, saudi arabia attitude. it came out of him. and new york. it's wicked personal. meantime, those horny bastards i love when they stutter. have been flood dg streets as which note was it? roads were closed and traffic my next question would have got more congested. been, how many did you send

the city had the gall to tell saying that i was a monitster. new yorkers to take the subway to avoid gridlock. when you go you, sir, with the they saw flashing electronic yankee hat on, how many people sign like u.n. week, take the did tyrus kill. subway. the only time new yorkers take you're going to be like maybe the subway is when they have to one. you do know he killed somebody. urinate. you know the subway. i guess so. they're on the record. that's what they are doing by they are those deck tube where saying this happened and is every ride is a game of somebody will -- i heard he's russian roulette. rude. ever the rats say next time then they will take that and we'll take an uber. stretch it. it's where gender fluid means >> that's exactly what they something you might accidentally wanted. he doesn't -- he assaults sit in. children or drag it out and drag we're supposed to risk our lives it out. getting cold co*cked by psychos make the cover and every one looks at it and hope the ad on the l train for these u.n. company will be like we can't be elites so they can drive afternoon in their armored limos part of this. we're hearing a will the o pizz. to get their four misstresses a >> he makes small businesses money. even if he doesn't like it, people go to buy it to prove him tiffany bracelet. if he thinks america is the wrong. he doesn't have to do this. he's not broke. he's not trying to be the next little ceasar. great isatan now, wait until he something he does for the gets mugged. community.

he's really doing it. feelings because you can say >> whoa. >> here he is wandering off the stage seemingly ignoring anything with feelings. >> she's a food writer. brazil's president who he just i saw you almost jump out of gave a speech with. your seat. didn't it give you pleasure. >> we will do our very best, mr. >> i loved it. >> what a master class there. he never goes off the record. that's a power move in communications. if you're out there the whole time and you can use it on the record, that gives you a president. position of power. >> bra vil that's sad, gotcha journalism from a food write who are was trying to set him up and set up the advertisers to be like you can't have anything to do with prepared. we keep having the u.n. here and it was a real housewives we not in other countries is because we have the best hookers and the diplomats don't want to unio -- give that up. reunion. that's what it should look lik >> i'm not going to speak to the diplomat preferences of hookers. >> they said that was your in your position. i enjoy bar stool sports. expertise. >> i will see myself out. they have some of the biggest female podcast hosts in the they have grossly

mischaracterized my expertise country. this guy works hard and built a here. can we go back to biden. business and supported small he tripped into the flag. business and the washington post tried to take him down fby like almost knocked the brazilian flag over. talking out his advertisers. forgets to thank the guy and goes off the stage again. this is a world super power on he identified himself and said the international stage yet he was recording. reporters don't identify again. themselves as reporters and i'm actually the least don't tell you they recording. surprising part is hookers and this is why you always got to be biden are in the same sentence careful when you answer the again. >> exactly. phone. screen all your calls. >> to be safe, i record that's true. sex traffic and snarl traffic everything. but we should be happy they are i have it in the bathroom. >> that's probably a little stimulating the escorts economy. much. >> oh, really. >> no, no, no. >> seriously, it's like finally he needs all of it. something good about the u.n. >> yes, exactly. >> yeah. >> all those sex workers are following the path of the great making that money. they are making money, providing a service. they are getting paid for it. journalist, chuck berry. they are adding to the economy. most people don't have the, i all things the u.n. does not do. guess, experience. if you were an average joe, you >> right. right. you can't look at this and shame woult in mind. the sex workers. >> no. might be really exciting if a >> they are providing something. they don't do anything. guy who runs a restaurant gets they kind of the same hypocrisy. call. i'm supposed to be impressed so

i don't think this guy will screw me over. >> dave. i think i know who that is. yeah. >> she als in their country, they don't eat meat but they come here and eat that was my most pointed one. steak and chops. she's trying goad people into it's the same with sex workers. giving as big a reaction. they come here to have their people who don't work with fun. >> with we sure they're not getting checks from us. good old u.s. of a. >> we're like the dad who buys his kid a hooker. >> we're the dad who knows mom reporters, that's their mo more cheating on him but he just often than not. won't levave so he wants to giv they work their entire story and get to the end and like here is everything that i have gotten everybody everything. he's the sad dad in the corner. and it's terrible. i need you to respond in two hours. good luck. thank you so much. reminds me of somebody. that's what we are. forget the sex workers. it's classic in the journalism wars have been started with industry. he said it correctly when dave less. said this is a sad state of >> yeah. the brazilian guys there, he's affairs for journalist. >> it's good we were able to see not known for not having a it. coming up, he had the temper or two at all. joe, when they said president, donations roll in by faking cancer of the colon.

the brother up there talking. joe thought he was back when barack was in. he did what the vp did and walked off. they shook hands and he said, mr. president and he left. we in trouble. that's not good. you know they all got on the world dictator and chat line that night and talked about joe one timing the brazilian prime mihappen. then somebody from his team will make it better and give them all bigger stipends for more hookers so they won't be so upset about joe. good for the sex workers. bad for us. s >> speaking of sex work, chris, you're a licensed physical therapist. were you an expert at happy endings? >> yes. i have never been with a prostitute and i've never been with a hooker. yes, i did give happy endings when i was a physical therapist because guys are coming in from

the u.n. they had a long flight and whatever, you know. >> thank you for your service. >> i'm doing it for us. i was doing it for our country to keep us safe. that's how i was on the front lines. i was making sure there was no -- everybody got their pressure lever. >> why do we have to have it every year here? we have to host the sex party at our house every year? >> it's pretty annoying. what can you do? it's new york. what else are we going to do? what other city do you want to do it in? this is the only place. maybe the lost city of atlantis. >> yes. >> make them do it at their place for one. why does every one have to come to our house and mess it. they want something at our house. >> we'll have it at your house. your sex workers aren't that great, spend your money when you come here, bring us

gift. that's what you do. >> clean up after yourselves. >> take the subway. up next, took a reporter to school for treating him like a fool. t writers, but we help you shape your financial story. ♪ we're not an airline, but our network connects global businesses across nearly 160 markets. ♪ we're not a startup, but our innovation labs use new technologies to help keep your information secure. ♪ we're not architects, but we help build stronger communities. ♪ we're not just any bank. we are citi. ♪

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admitted to having terminal colon cancer to raise money to enter a world series poker tournament. he turned out to be -- >> yeah.or. >> yeah. >> can't see it. >> who would say they had that unless they didn't have that. >> right. >> i think it's funny. it's after they get caught they are all sad. did he give the money back? no, he spent it. >> of course he's not. >> lot of charities. you will donate so much money and look to see how much the people are getting and it's criminal. this is disgusting but we should be looking at a lot of other things where they are like donate money. the five-hour video frr the dogs that comes on. >> the thing and it's like, if you do it like when ever they

say you get a free t-shirt or hat. save the money. put it twowards the cause. it's ridiculous. they shouldn't accept his money. they shouldn't allow him in the tournament. he will probably be one of many in wrong doers in that tournament. >> this is why i don't donate money to charity. >> right. that's the reason. he's saying that he has to keep the money because he think he has breast cancer. i was like what. what else do you have ovarian cancer. >> undiagnosed. >> he's like i feel sick. he's a mess. i don't know. i guess he -- isn't it illegal?

isn't it illegal. >> it's frauds. >> it's got do be, right. >> he's running around trying to get cancer so he doesn't have to give the money back. >> erin, in the green room you said how could you not admire his awfulness. >> e didi didn't say that at al. >> it's recorded on my phone. >> that's ai. i did not sao play poker and loses in first round. he's not even a good poker player. he's not going to give the money back. there's a ton of things wrong with this guy. it seems to be like more mental than anything else. who does that to people? it's like yes, i'm dying. i don't know if i'll be able to play this poker game. help me. jk. >> the only thing worse he could have done is like a make a wish foundation kind of thing and pretend hooets a kid. >> he said i said colon cancer but the truth is, i don't feel good and it's possible that i

might have canhave cancer. none of us feel good, right? we don't feel good. >> by the way, no matter the age, how many times do you think you might have cancer? >> every day! >> every day on the web md. >> you google anything and they tell you you probably have cancer. you look at the picture of the guy, i wasn't -- i always thought that this is what people who watch poker on tv look like. now i know i'm right. he doesn't see a lot of the sun. >> in fairness, he does look like a make a wish. >> he does. he does not look healthy at all. >> when ever someone says the truth is, just slap them. >> yeah. >> the truth is -- smack. >> he made 30 grand from this page. >> poker place made 30 grand. >> oh, that's righ poker place the sel get his just desserts. that was a real meaningful ending. >> like that. just end on a bomb, baby.

i like it. all right. up next, does being best pals work for married guys and gals?

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a story in five words. >> your spouse, your best friend, kat -- >> no. >> yes, sorry. i have to come to you sometime. the wall street journal cited a study saying half of couples live together say their partner is their best friend which can be good but also bad. is it good or is it pouse is no

be your best friend. you need to diversify your relationships. who do you talk about your spouse with? you can't say everything to their face. that would exhaust the relationship. you need someone to talk about them behind thei>> good point. >> to be a good wife. i'm not going to nag him all the time. i'm going to talk [ bleep ] about him that he does not hear. w he's not answering me. i'm trying to text him we have to go to the airport. he's not answering me. i'm going to text my best friend and say can you believe he's doing it again. i knew this would happen. i'll tell all you guys. he's doing it again. he's always late. he says he won't be. yet, again, i think we're faced with it yet again, america. >> erin, what say you? >> i actually, i totally agree. this isn't middle school where you can only have one best friend. you should like the person you're married to and want to spend time with them but i think you need another best friend you can absolutely tell them exactly

how you feel in moment you feel it because you can't always probably be completely blunt and honest. >> wow. >> you know, chris, i find people who say that their spouse is their best friend to be nauseating. >> i feel like because my spouse is watching us, i'm supposed to you're my best friend. >> like a hostage. >> you can strap it on tonight. i don't know. yeah, i think, i mean, i think i feel like she's my best -- i think she hates me. some friends, you know, it's what happens. i'm an idiot. i'm late all the time. i'll take you to the airport. >> sounds good. >> all right, tyrus. i'm sure you have a strong opinion on this. >> listen, both of your stories were powerful and amazing. i commend you for that because you both have something in common. yorests and dreams and liking

things out doors. of course, mine is m friend. see what's cool about her is she doesn't need a best friend to go to to complain about me because she does it to my face. >> yes. >> our friendship is so good. there's no secrets. i know what she thinks about me. how she feels about me. how she feels about driving her car. how she feels about her eyebrow appointment. i know all the secrets. you couldn't put that amount of friendship for any amount of money, any at all. somebody kill me. any money at all. amazing how much they share with us and i don't care if i'm watching my favorite football team. yes, please tell me. >> he just admitted to me he hasn't left the house yet. >> doesn't matter. >> it's making me so much -- >> see the difference. they are married to men. a man is like have friends. cool. >> giants/49ers tonight.

i can't wait to watch sweet magnolias on netflix. my best friend. >>g to be great. >> i can face time with you in my car. >> if your wife is your best friend then is sex a threesome? think about that. don't go aware. we'll be right back. some people just know there's a podcast about that. those are the people who know to choose allstate. big tea drinker? yeah. there's a podcast about tea. he knows and he wants you to know too. i was listening to a podcast on if dogs know they're dogs there's a podcast about fly fishing... ...called why is that person doing that? ...it's called tea-rrific. are you listening to a podcast? yeah, it's about multitasking.

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Greg Gutfeld examines the news of the day through a satiric lens fused with pop culture.

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