Chart Review 07/06/24
HAPPY ERAS DAY EVERY0NE!!!!11!!1.1! 🤪🫨
sorry about that. I got a bit carried away.
It's just kinda hard to remain silent about the fact that one of the biggest artists in the world has hitch-hiked her way to Britain this week, getting ready to do dates in London, Cardiff, Liverpool, Dublin (except that's in Ireland), and later tonight, Edinburgh! WOWZERS!! As you can probably tell, even though my opinions on Taylor Swift are somewhat of a mixed bag, it's nearly impossible to resist the urge to be a hyperactive Swifty knowing that she has to encounter the horrors of Scotland. Haggis. Xenophobic football supporters. Endless amounts of Greggs and Irn-Bru. I mean crikey, she even popped up in the latest edition of the Beano. If that's not omnipresence I don't know what is.
Oh right, the chart. Yeah, the album chart was pretty s***, can't lie to you all. Midweek leaders and K-POP featherweights Atee*z bottled it for the 2nd time in succession, after shafting it against Peter Gabriel last year, to end up slipping right out of the medal table by Friday. Thus, we ended up encountering a 'classic' duel between Ms. Eyelash and Ms. Era, a phrasing which is really hard to understand if you don't like music, but anyways, Tay-Tay is No.1 again. Take a wild guess as to why that is. No, go on. Make a presumption as to why this is still here. Just guess. C'mon. Don't be shy. Oh yeah, and Becky Hill is new at 3, Richard Hawley continues to make brill music at 5, and Crowded House are somehow still going. Don't remember them? Yeah, me neither. They haven't had a hit single since 1996. Besides, they weren't much cop anyway, if the annoying radio staples of Weather With You and Don't Dream It's Over were anything to go by. Maybe that's why everybody liked grunge back then.
And as for the singles, err... It's not great for Sabrina Carpenter. She's been karate-kicked off the top-spot by a man who, it's safe to say has had an erratic career. Ever since he first burst onto the scene 25 years ago with his cool blend of wacky lyrics, family-baiting grit and celebrity-trashing pointlessness, Eminem has hardly never been relevant. Every now and again, just when you think he'd retired, he comes back to claim yet another chart-topper with a song you probably won't even remember in a few years. Just Lose It, River, Godzilla, he does it all the time y'know. So yeah, Marshall's back, and more controversial than ever. Kind of.
You see, new single Houdini (no relation to Dua Lipa) is some sort of graveyard signal for alter-ego Slim Shady, as Eminem's finally killing him off after years of jokey content being serviced to us. Hey man, if I was 51, I'd stop pretending I was a dirty pre-teen for the sake of my sanity. Just a shame then that not everyone's on board with it. It makes more sense in the video, trust me. But yeah, turns out interpolating a Steve Miller (who actually respects his decision, so fair play) song I've never heard of and cherry-picking your old records to mess around with again is a recipe for disaster. Of course, in the streaming era, that doesn't mean anything, and so Houdini casually slapped up the opposition in a way that indicates he's gonna be around for a while. So yeah, this is now his 11th UK No.1 since he started, pulling ahead of Elton John and tying with Calvin Harris in the process. I'd say this is the potential song of the summer, but that might not go down well. Then again, I've barely heard Houdini for myself, so I can't really state my opinion on this.
What I can state is that's it's caused complete mayhen at the bottom end of the 40, as one of the sampled hits re-enters at 38. Yes lads, Without Me is back in the charts, released at a time when he could lay claim to being the best rapper of all time, compared to nowadays where he always seems to be underrated. And yes, 2002 was THAT long ago. It also proves that 2024 is by miles the year that looks most like a throwback playlist. We've got an old Eminem song here, which has pushed The Script out of the Top 40, Disturbed and Mark Ronson are still sticking around, Natasha Bedingfield and Sophie Ellis-Bextor have had unprecented success, and The Killers finally returning to the best-sellers again. Shame really. I wanted First Love by The Maccabees to peak at No.40 again, but you know me, I never get what I want.
Not much else is happening in the Top 10, the only things of note being that Central Cee has moved up a spot, BAND4BAND now the 3rd time he's been on the podium, and LUNCH dropping like a kidney stone, thus allowing BIRDS OF A FEATHER to be the highest charting Eilish hit. Even though I personally think it's not as amazing as everyone's making it out to be. It's also incredibly stale outside here as well, apart from Benson Boone FINALLY hitting ACR and plummeting to 19, meanwhile Zach Bryan and Teddy Swims slowly creep up to make me fall asleep all over again. The only other new hit is the latest smash for Fred Again.., and I can confirm that after the misstep that was leavemealone, places to be is back to globe-trottering business for dance's greatest performer as of late. Vocals come from the definitely not irrelevant Anderson .Paak, and some gal called CHIKA that I've never heard of. Don't think it matters though, because this new single from Fred Again.. wipes the floor with most of it's opposition. See David Guetta? This is what you could be if you didn't sample old hits I didn't even like in the first place. Don't let him loose with Since U Been Gone. I think I might faint.
Outside the 40, and Charli XCX entered at 41 a few weeks ago during Eurovision week, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW she's done it again. At least her album's out today, that will definitely push 360 into the Top 40. Even though she's plastered all her album covers with the same boring template as BRAT. This week's No.50 has gone up 50, meaning I now have to come up with a reason why 6 In The Morning by Flex is gonna take over the planet, Bronski Beat creep up to 51, HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan has suddenly shot up to 53, Zerb and The Chainsmokers are doin' alright, Dimitri Vegas has spent 20 weeks in the lower regions and still can't break through yet, Disclosure return at a less than exciting 61, Alex Warren still bores me to tedium at No.69, BMTH slump to 78 (gutted I am, I'm really loving that tune right now), some dingus called Kairo Keyz makes his bow at 89, and BL3SS, CamrinWatsin, and bbyclose jump into the Official listings at 97. I'm not that fussed about any of the new hits, I'm just secretly hoping that HOT TO GO! sneaks in to justify Chappell Roan's existence outside of the BuzzJack Song Contest. Oh wait, am I not supposed to bring up rival sites?
Ah well, next week's albums could provide a new No.1, as Meghan Trainor, Alfie Templeman, Charli XCX and Bon Jovi all desperately try and prevent the Eras juggernaut. As for the singles, Nathan Dawe returns to ruin my life for me again, Headie One attempts to stay in the public's affections, Gracie Abrams tries to capitalise on Risk being a sleeper hit, Glass Animals are still as underwhelming as ever, RAYE has a new EP out that could do things, and given she's just been kicked off the top, Sabrina Carpenter putting out a new song is surely a sign of confidence.
Maybe she can take revenge for Eminem being a tryhard. I don't know 'bout you, but next week could be massive. SEE YOU THERE.
(P.S. Putting a message here every week sure seems like a heavy duty. I mean, I have to try and come up with a reasonable sum up of whatever's happening in the world, and then try to squeeze it all in without running out o- AND I'VE RUN OUT OF IDEAS.)
