Do you respond as a policeperson, attempting to reach the bottom of the dispute? Can you see it as your job to maintain law and order?
Do you react like an escapee, getting away from the fighting? Do you leave kids to solve the dispute themselves?
Policeperson or escapee? Which are you?
To be truthful you will need to be both.
There are occasions when you will need to intervene particularly when they’re excessively noisy, physical or full of insults and put downs.
There are also time when children are best left to solve their disputes themselves.
Bear it (simply put up with it),
Beat it (go elsewhere when they struggle ) or
Boot out them (send them to their bedrooms or outside to work out their disputes) is the approach here. But if you would like to less fighting then you need to be less of a policeperson and more of an escapee when kids fight.
If you prefer less overt conflict, particularly in primary-school-aged kids then you may need to generate some changes.
For instance, there are three things you need when kids aren’t fighting that will reduce the intensity and amount of sibling fighting:
1. Make sure you have activities that bring the family together on a regular basis and enjoy one another’s company e.g mealtimes, family outings.
2. Create opportunities for kids to work together, help each other and learn to undermine
3. Have a procedure that teaches children how to resolve conflict amicably and assertively e.g regular family roundtables, meetings.
The final strategy is by far the very best. Family roundtables take time to set up and learn but they’re super-effective concerning developing a strong sense of’we’ in families, getting parents on the same page and educating kids a valid conflict resolution skill that will stay for life.